If you've ever done the marital thang , and if it didn't work out, then you know that the Departing Spousal Unit will always try to 'zing' you with one last verbal barb on the way out the door.

In ol' John's case Departing Spousal Unit #2, a/k/a the Rhondamonster, (not to be confused with Ex-spousal Unit #1 or Ex-spousal Unit #3), barked that 'Your problem is <pause for this one pholks...> you are trying too hard to live the Jimmy Buffett lifestyle'.

At which point several mutual friends of ours were heard to say 'Soooooooo...???'

Buffett, one of the patron saints of Southern US music, does a popular song called 'A Pirate Looks at Forty'. This old Pirate figured that, at age (then) almost 40, there were worse fates than to constantly seek sun, sand, and fun adventures, as Mr. Jimmy had suggested.

Thus PirateJohn was born.

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Watch the men who rode you,
Switch from sails to steam.
And in your belly you hold the treasure
that few have ever seen, most of them dreams,
Most of them dreams.

Yes, I am a pirate two hundred years too late.
The cannons don't thunder there's nothin' to plunder
I'm an over forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late.

I've done a bit of smugglin'
I've run my share of grass.
I made enough money to buy Miami,
But I pissed it away so fast,
Never meant to last, never meant to last.

I have been drunk now for over two weeks,
I passed out and I rallied and I sprung a few leaks,
But I've got to stop wishin',
Got to go fishin', I'm down to rock bottom again.
Just a few friends, just a few friends.

(Instrumental)

I go for younger women, lived with several awhile
And though I ran away, they'll come back one day.
And still could manage a smile
It just takes awhile, just takes awhile.

Mother, mother ocean, after all these years I've found
My occupational hazard being my occupation's
just not around.
I feel like I've drowned,
Gonna head uptown.

 

PirateJohn outside outside Jimmy Buffett's place, Margaritaville, New Orleans, early 1998.